Anxiety in its Various Forms

It’s nearly 2:30 and I can’t sleep. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that in seven days, I will have moved my entire life to Boston (well, technically Brighton, but let’s not mince words). In so doing, I will have to drive a truck rented from the good folks at Penske the 350 miles through five states to get from Bucks County, Pennsylvania to Brighton, Massachusetts. Now, I’ve made this trip at least fifty times, if not probably more. But I’ve never done it on my own, and I’ve never driven the whole way by myself, let alone in a truck. I also haven’t driven an automatic transmission vehicle in close to five years, so I get to look forward to a lot of reaching for a gear shift that doesn’t exist. To say that there’s a bit of anxiety revolving around this would not exactly be a stretch. The added weight of not yet having a job or any interviews lined up isn’t necessarily helping. So this is what we would like to refer to as “bad anxiety.”

At the same time, in forty eight hours, I’ll be in a hotel room in Reading, Pennsylvania with my good friend Bill, presumably having just returned from the bar Third and Spruce, which is the first official meeting of the folks coming to Reading for the Comic Geek Speak podcast’s first annual Super Show convention. I was present at the Episode 300 get together last year, and while I literally knew no one there, I still managed to make a few friends (it’s funny; you get a bunch of socially awkward geeks in a room and lubricate them with alcohol, and things have a tendency to loosen up a bit). So I’m not as worried of the wallflower syndrome going into things like I was last year. Bill might have a few issues, but I’ll be there to coach him through it an introduce him to people, which probably would have helped me a great deal last year. So I can go into this thing purely with fun in mind. It’ll be fun to catch up with the Geeks, as well as folks from last year, especially the Texas contingent of Brad and Frank from the Half Hour Wasted podcast and Jun Bob Kim (who will have a purty Thanos sketch for me). I’ll have to keep my spending in check (for reasons why, take a gander at that first paragraph again), but I still plan to have a lot of fun. And stay out past eleven o’clock. Last year was a bit sad in that regard. So this would be an example of “good anxiety.”

Now, I’m not exactly speaking from the perspective of being an expert where things like anxiety are concerned. I can confidently proclaim that terms like “good anxiety” and “bad anxiety” are quite a load of bunk from a specifically scientific or physiological perspective. But it makes sense in my head, and in both cases, it certainly leads to trouble sleeping. In point of fact, I’ve been having some degree of trouble sleeping for the past two weeks or so, dating back to my last day of work. It sure does start to pull on you after a while, and I bet my attempts to sleep Tuesday night (which will be especially difficult, considering that my bed will be in the back of a truck) will fall on deaf ears. Not looking forward to that, really.

Ah well. It’s 2:40 now, so I guess I’m just exacerbating the problem.

This post was written to the tune of The Exit’s Home for an Island.

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